On the Today Show this morning, Matt Lauer and Savannah Guthrie did a segment on how to handle awkward holiday situations. Several questions were posed to Matt Damon and Philip Galanes, New York Times advice columnist and author of, “Social Q’s: How to Survive the Quirks, Quandaries, and Quagmires of Today”.
Should I Break Up with Him/Her?
The biggest question of the hour was, “Should I break up?….I want to break up with my boyfriend. But it’s already December, and my friends tell me it’s mean to break up at the holidays. Do I really have to wait until after New Year’s?”.
Being pretty straight forward and honest Matt Damon said, if she knows she doesn’t want to be with the guy, she shouldn’t wait until after the holidays. She should just do it now!
Philip Galanes focused more on the social etiquette of a break up around the Holidays. According to Philip, there should be a “no fly break up zone”.
If it’s before December 15th, then you should go ahead and break up. However if it’s after that date, he says you should wait because it’s mean.
A Matchmaker & Dating Coach’s Advice
Now as a New York Matchmaker & Dating Coach, if I were on the panel this morning, this is the advice I would have given someone who is asking, “Should I break up?”:
If you’re not feeling like s/he is the one any more, then why would you prolong and drag out the unfortunate situation through the holidays? You’re just leading him/her on through Christmas or Hanukkah and New Year’s.
Plus not to mention….what type of gift do you get someone who you’re planning to break up with?
And a worst case scenario….what if s/he gets you a really expensive gift? Then do you have to wait another few months to break up because you feel guilty?
This all proves the point that there probably isn’t any ideal time to break up with someone. Just remember, it’s important not to lead someone on and waste their time. If you’re not in love with him/her any more…just break up and move on. Chances are….you may find s/he is feeling the same way!